I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
