if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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