i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
