Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
