I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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