this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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