Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
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i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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