So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I AM VODKA MAN
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
