i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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