That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
