We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
