she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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