We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
