I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
