So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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