in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
time to smoke my breakfast
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
