I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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