i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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