so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
All the doctor said was why
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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