5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
