After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
