did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
