My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
