matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
