You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
