it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
