I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
3 2 1 whiskey
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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