Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
