so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
