Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I have fence marks all over my body
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
