I'm going to jail i love you
My first STD was from a foam party
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
