He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
