You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
