I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
