don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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