There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
