Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
