but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
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He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
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You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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