Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
