haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
