It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
