There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
