dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
