me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
