I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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