i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
