eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
