she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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