I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
