just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize