I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
the liver wants what the liver wants
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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