i don't like sucking hair
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
i think i just lost a toe
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
