Fine. I'll sleep in my office
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
