Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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