Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
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Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
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How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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