Swine flu. Run for my life!
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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