I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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