just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
