"it" just moved
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
